beauty is a feeling

why beauty is important and healing

Long ago, before I started therapy and began to understand myself, I already knew that beauty was important to me. Today, it remains my core value. If you want to explore your own values, I recommend taking the Strengths Survey. And here's a small suggestion: pay attention not only to your top strengths but also to the ones that appear near the bottom of your list, you might discover something interesting about yourself. 😉

Last week, when I had the idea of writing around this theme, one of the first things that came into my mind was a short paragraph by Carlos on the tool of beauty, from his book About Presence
”Everything that we see has a certain vibration of energy. The non-material mind (for more about this please read About Presence, A journey into ourselves) has a very similar frequency of energy to beauty and so when we experience beauty, when we see beauty, when we are surrounded by beauty, we have more possibilities to connect to the non-material mind. It is as if we were preparing the ground.
Beauty can come in the form of nature, or in the form of some specific art…”
For those who don’t know, Carlos is an Argentinian who currently lives in Bucharest. He traveled extensively and during this period, Carlos followed several spiritual paths as well as studied numerous techniques connected to the body and mind, in addition to learning the fundaments to art and philosophy, psychology and health.
He now teaches 'Yoga of Presence', a type of physical practice that is focused on being present in the moment and finding peace with ourselves.
He also has a very inspiring whatsapp group, where he sends daily messages. They function as a ritual to remember to live life with more presence.
If you want to be introduced in the group write to me and I send you the link 🤍

These kinds of ‘paintings’ were one of my hobbies a couple of years ago. It felt very rewarding to connect with beauty by being inspired by nature.
Nowadays, I can’t really see myself having the patience to sew all these miniatures again, but I remember how they became the highlight of a winter vacation.

Beauty has always been and still is my main coping mechanism. It helps me through difficult times and also acts as a daily cure-all for navigating the full spectrum of emotions.
When I say “beauty,” I also mean the gentle escapism found in daydreaming, surrounding myself with lovely things, enjoying comfort food, listening to soothing music, spending time with supportive friends, nurturing good relationships, and creating a sense of balance.

I can easily walk down memory lane and see how beauty has always been part of my life, even in childhood. What I consider beautiful today was already present in my early years.
For the first seven years of my life, I lived in a lovely two-story apartment with my parents, grandparents, great-grandmother, and our dog. When my brother and I were born, our family decided to close off the veranda and turn it into a room for us.
We don’t own the house anymore, but I still pass by it often and from the outside it still looks so romantic. You can see the house in the background of this photo. The upper part used to be our veranda room.
In the foreground is a cherished image of my great-grandmother and grandmother. 🤍

I was raised in the early ’80s, a time when visiting family and friends was one of the main ways we spent our free time. I remember being completely fascinated by the objects I saw in other people’s homes.
One of the most memorable moments was during a visit to a graceful old lady, the mother of one of my parents’ friends. I went to the bathroom and saw a box of beautiful pink soaps shaped like roses. I don’t have the words to describe how pretty they seemed to me. That image has stayed with me all these years.
The house I live in today once belonged to my godparents. The garden, which feels small to me now, was, in the eyes of a five-year-old girl, an entire world: full of hidden corners to explore, roses for jam, and other edible flowers and fruits.
As for the beauty inside the house, I feel so grateful to still have some of their objects with me and all the memories that come with them.
This is a photo of me next to my godparents car, in front of the house.

Another source of beauty in my life was the summer holidays spent at Agapia Monastery. When I was little, we stayed inside the monastery itself, and only years later, during a return visit, did I fully realise how deeply the simplicity and beauty of that village had influenced me.
My parents still visit every year and stay with some of the nuns they’ve become friends with.
I also have a dream project, to spend a full year there, experiencing all four seasons, and creating a documentary about the community and its way of life.
If anyone feels this idea inspiring (I mean the documentary), let’s connect. ✨

During my kindergarten years, I was also surrounded by beauty. When the weather was nice, we would go to the garden of the University Professors’ House in Bucharest. I remember it having a large glasshouse filled with flowers and vegetables, and the greenery felt so lush, almost like a forest, or at least that’s how it lives in my memory.
Our teacher was a kind, German-speaking woman named Frau Ani. I remember feeling free and safe in that environment. We were no more than ten children, of different ages, spending our days together, speaking German, and playing.
I really enjoyed my time there.
On days with bad weather, we would go to the homes of children who lived nearby. That meant even more chances to experience beauty, each home offering something new and fascinating in its own way.

A couple of days ago I received this substack letter and if it was a perfect timing.
I leave here a fragment from Caitlyn, from milk fed, about living an aesthetic little life

aestheticism is not decoration for the sake of ego, nor a distraction from a life you’re trying to escape. it is life, or at least one of the few things that makes life bearable.
to care about aesthetics is not to be shallow. it is an act of attention, a way of saying that in a world so often indifferent and unkind, you are still looking closely. and you are still capable of being moved.
this sensitivity has been misunderstood for most of my life. people treat it like a quirk. like i’m just being dramatic or fussy. but i think, more and more, that it is something sacred. something instinctual and protective. there is a philosophy behind it and a psychology, too.
aesthetic experience is not about what something looks like. it is about how something opens you and how it holds you and stirs memory and emotion without demanding that you explain it. that kind of attention is a form of devotion, and in a world addicted to speed, flatness, and efficiency, devotion feels radical.
oscar wilde understood this best. he believed in beauty as a kind of resistance. not as ornament, but as necessity. he saw aestheticism as a rebellion against moral rigidity, against utilitarianism, and against a society obsessed with order and function. he wrote in defense of pleasure, of art for art’s sake, of decadence as a higher form of truth. wilde was not shallow. he was deliberate. he believed that the pursuit of beauty was a deeply serious thing. not because it was tidy or virtuous, but because it revealed something about what it means to be human.
And yes Oscar Wilde was a Libra, which I am too ☺️

”aestheticism, to me, has nothing to do with superficiality. it is not about taste. it is not about appearing interesting or refined or particular. it is about the impulse to treat the world gently and notice the details that so many people move too quickly to see. it is a way of resisting numbness and refusing to let life become flat or standardised or efficient to the point of erasure. to care about beauty is to care about perception itself. it is to say, again and again, that what we feel matters.”

Nowadays, I am aware that beauty lies in connection; beyond nature, pleasant things, or sense and sensibility. It’s about having healthy relationships where care and attention are the main sources of balance.
I would also add order and clarity to my definition of beauty. Both give me a sense of control and peacefulness. Anyone who knows me can tell that togetherness is my middle name (maybe it’s also a Libra trait). It’s about doing things together, connecting, and creating beautiful experiences together.

“Beautiful things” now have a much broader meaning for me. I consider silence beautiful, walking, buying quality bread and eating healthily. Sleeping well, meditating in the morning, waking up without reaching for my phone, not scrolling feels beautiful. My cat is beautiful, too. Twenty degrees Celsius is beautiful weather for me, and I love uncrowded places.
My mentoring sessions are beautiful because of the presence and connection we share. Phone conversations are beautiful, as are kindness, being aware and feeling grateful. Making love felt always beautiful to me. Finding nice things at flea markets, synchronicities, rain, these are beautiful moments. Teams and Zoom calls with people who are truly present, even from kilometers away, are beautiful meetings.
Doing one thing at a time, reading, my camera roll, my clothes, hugs, listening is beautiful. Emotions are beautiful, and lately, even staying with difficult emotions feels beautiful. Discovering a new or old song and adding it to my playlist, feeling understood and listened to, being on the same page with someone, all of these are beautiful things. Going through hard times together is beautiful too because it deepens the connection. Cooking, road trips, and me sitting in the passenger seat are beautiful, too. Seeing beautiful things on Instagram, capturing a moment with my camera, being alive is beautiful.
Taking it all in and opening myself to more.

Beauty is a feeling.

The image above has been the cover photo for my latest photo album, Sentimental ’76. I’ve been planning a new one called Beauty is a feeling, which will bring together my film photos from the past years. The selection is ready, but I’m waiting for the right person to help with the layout and I could also use some financial support with the printing. If there’s a brand that shares my values, I would be more than happy to collaborate.
🤍
I’m still figuring out how to engage more here on Substack. I’m planning a summer without scrolling, and so far, I’m sticking to it. Being more active in the feed isn’t really an option for me right now.

But if you want to connect and talk about anything I’ve shared here, please do reach out. I also have some mentoring spots open and usually work through the summer. Since my daughter is grown up, I don’t take a summer vacation. I’m not a fan of heat or crowded places, so I usually postpone vacation until autumn.
If you’re also in the mood to get some work done, please check out my mentoring approach, and let’s get in touch.

Thank you for being here.

🕊️
Ileana

ps. thank you all who support my writing with a subscription, I know you all and I am thankful 🤍 I really value money. I might write my next substack articole about it. 🌱